Vie Haf Vays Off Makingk You Talk, Herr Ed.

The following post is not for the faint of heart:

Okay. You folks know I love horses. All horses--scruffy, pretty, gentle, rotten--any horse, right? I also love horse books (in pretty much all of the above conditions).

I picked up this book at the Texas Book and Paper show from a booth full of antiquarian and fine binding lovelies. Eye candy, all of it, but this one caught my eye and wouldn't let me leave without it. Here's the cover:



Pretty, ja? It is an 19th century gothic-script German book on horsemanship, directed primarily to cavalry officers but also for general equestrians.

Pretty, that is, until you open the cover. Great Scot! What masquerades as an innocent horse-training manual is actually the here-to-for top-secret Equine Prisoner of War Interrogation Manual!!! Those kooky pre-war Germans! Further research into the origins of this book has lead me to discover the true history of America's Beloved Mr. Ed...

I can't talk about it, or They'll get me, too, but suffice it to say that Mr. Ed single-hoofedly saved the free world as we know it at great sacrifice of his personal safety, creature comforts, and original identity as a rising-star pinto polo pony (And you thought having your hair bleached blond was time-consuming as a human.). We salute you, our palomino friend. We salute you.

Before They find out about this site, take a gander at the following images I've recovered from this Super-Secret document:

The capturing of Mr. Ed using a Taser disguised as a grooming tool.

Mr. Ed is transported to an undisclosed location.

Mr. Ed is threatened with devices too horrific to describe here.

Further instruments of terror.

Brave Mr. Ed refuses to talk.

Will the nightmare ever end?


In a brilliant surge of derring-do, Mr. Ed escapes from his captors.

...chilling. Who knew?